read me

The Tome of the Tombless

‘Ere now careful wi’ that

It’s dangerous.

No, t’won’t blow you up you twit!

‘At would be nice of it.

Don’t o’en tha box!

‘at’s fer tha master, him

Who cen red et wi’no trouble

He says ‘at ‘e does.

Look, just get it on tha cart, ok?

I tole you, ya can’t o’en it!

Why? You wan’ a know why?

Ya would, ya puss-brained lemming.

Tha book in tha box thar,

Its old.

Older ‘n any other book, I t’ink

Old ‘nough ta burty, eh?

Tha words in tha thing,

‘s why t’was buried.

Men smarter ‘n us feared it.

Yes, a bleedin’ book!

The book in thar,

It has power;

Only tha master can red it.

Won’t ‘urt him.

He’ll be in tha tower, like always.

We get it there, ya can ask.

Not before.

Wha’ are ya doin, ya lout?

RUN! Don’ drop it!

We got’a take it there!

No, I’m not jokin’!

We got’a get to tha gate!

They’s comin’ up, like ‘e said!

DON’ DROP THA BOOK!

Yer keys? At tha hole?

We’re done… g’bye… NNNOOOOOO!

The Deceased

The Deceased

I write this a dead man. My body just doesn’t know it yet; I was declared dead three days ago, by someone I’d not seen in years. This old friend, or maybe we were enemies, heard of my latest success, a trivial thing to be sure. From this he decided I’d outdone him for the last time, and made some calls to people in the problem business.

I stumbled over the first one, a clumsy oaf with small dreams of being a thug. He thought to knife me, got too close and I flipped him over the balcony of my apartment. Someone thought to give the new guys a chance first, I guess.

The second had more brains than the first, but not by much. I was at the fair when he shot at me and missed; gotta love those shooting gallery guns. Anyway, I lost him in the hall of mirrors; I love mazes and the reflections would only work in my favor. I managed to knock him out and he answered some questions when he woke. He answered pretty quickly; he only lost a couple toes before he died.

I’ve had to be more careful since then; there’s been two more attempts, by real pros. I never saw either one, and took a slug in the shoulder from the second. Soon enough he’ll come, the one to make reality fit my friend’s decree. I don’t know how many more days I can outwit and outfight them, but I’m guessing not long… not long until the enddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd